Filed under: Uncategorized
So I guess some people share a lot more than others on the internet. But honestly, why would I hide anything? I hate the blogs I read where they seem so perfect it makes me want to take a fork to the screen or myself because ‘I’m not like them’. Pffff. They are so far from perfect, it’s just a facade.
I’m far from perfect. And this week was a reminder in that. When my father died suddenly when I was 18, my anxiety shot through the roof. A panic attack disorder that had always bothered me became a full blown problem- me having panic attacks at work and hiding in the bathroom in embarrassment, etc. So I went to a therapist to get some help and was put on Effexor. Effexor did the trick- it didn’t wipe out my anxiety disorder but it did help a lot. Because I couldn’t afford a real therapist, I actually enrolled in a resident program at GW where you get cheap therapy and the residents get patients. So I bounced around a little to different therapist for the next couple years and somehow landed at Dr. Book last year. He wanted to take me off Effexor because I felt I was at a much different place and felt I didn’t need it anymore. So fast forward to last week, the week I would go off Effexor. He did tell me there would be some side effects and put me of Prozac to help buffer the problems. Little did I know…wed. night I felt a little weird. Thursday I woke up and was completely taken aback. I couldn’t get up because the room was spinning and I was nauseous. I literally fell asleep after panicking for 5 minutes and telling Natalie what was happening and didn’t wake up for hours. Friday- same deal. Saturday, I forced myself to get a wedding edit done, and tried to go out but after an hour, Nat took me home and I fell asleep.
And as horrible as this was- it was on our anniversary. But the paradox actually made me feel incredible special. I couldn’t do a thing and here Natalie was cleaning, feeding, and totally taking care of everything for me. I know when things get bad Natalie will be right there. She helped me through my panic attacks and helped me get off the medicine that helped stop them.
So I’m at 80% right now, the room still likes to spin but I’m actually eating again. So I’m trying to think of something amazing to do for Natalie. I had wanted to make a big heart banner for our anniversary and drape it over the door- but with all this rain I’m glad I didn’t.
What was the sweetest thing you have done for an anniversary?
P.S. I got my WHCC book in that I made for Shyia and it rocks! Here’s what the first page looked like:
2 Comments so far
Leave a comment