Two Brides

I’m so disgusted
October 16, 2008, 7:09 pm
Filed under: lesbian/gay, photographers

As some of you know, I have started my own wedding photography buisness. So I joined a flickr group that encourages and helps other photographs who are starting their own wedding photography business.

Yesterday, the topic of “would you shoot a gay wedding” appeared. I followed it like a hawk knowing there was going to be some bad stuff going down. I tried to argue in a calm, rational manner. I tried to swallow the ‘it’s against my morals’, ‘it’s a sin’, stuff coming from a lot of photographers. Then the craziness ensued and gay people were compared to pedophiles- and I went bat shit pissed. People then tried to defend said statement by saying in other cultures, they have different ethics that become ‘normal’. So gay people becoming ‘normal’ is like pedophilia becoming normal in some cultures.

I forgot how conservative a vast majority of wedding photographers are. Some of us are not, but a big whopping majority of wedding photographers are. In my first internship I had to deal with the photographer making jokes about the groomsmen hugging “Don’t get too close there!”

So this is my call to all you amazing brides/grooms out there reading this. Ask your photographer straight up if they would photograph a gay wedding. Ask them why it isn’t in their portfolio. Only do business with photographs who blatantly support gay marriage.


6 Comments so far
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Thank you for sharing this. I heard about this attitude from a lesbian photographer in Vancouver. She shared that the acclaimed photographer who shot her own wedding avoided snapping any shots of the brides kissing. I’ve shared this with people and they’ve been shocked that photographers would treat gay clients any differently so I am glad to have more photographers sharing this behind the scenes info. A lot of people have encouraged me (and other same-sex couples) to just give photographers who don’t have same-sex weddings in their portfolio a try. Here’s a great reason to ignore that advice.

I’d like to ask other photographers who support same-sex couples to bring this conversation up in their circles. Photographers like you who are directly impacted by these hateful words need allies to back you up.

Comment by Nadine

Amen. There are a ton of wedding photographers out there who act like this, and it stuns me – from a personal perspective AND from a business perspective, I have a very hard time respecting people who act and talk that way. I wholeheartedly recommend that people (of all sexual orientations) looking for a wedding photographer ask potential photographers about their policies. One other thing to look at is the language a photographer uses on his or her website – is it inclusive? Or is it hetero-centric?

Comment by Lara

When we were looking for vendors, my second question to them (after finding out if they were available) was always about their feelings about same-sex weddings. I asked my photog and videographers if they would have a problem getting shots of us kissing. Luckily we had a positive response from all of our vendors. Our photographer is very excited to shoot his first same-sex wedding.

I didn’t want to be uncomfortable on my wedding day and I wouldn’t want to make our vendors uncomfortable, so it’s best to just come out and ask!

Comment by Leah

I haven’t shot a civil ceremony yet but that’s mainly because I haven’t been asked 🙂

Being a photographer we will have to photograph things that are uncomfortable sometimes but that is part of the job. Personally I feel I would and should treat them exactly the same as any other couple. If I didn’t feel comfortable in their company I would not take on the wedding but that would be due to personality not sexuality.

Most people really should have had contact with gay couples in this day and age, so there really is no excuse for the discrimination you described above. The one’s I know/have met are not any less normal than other people. Everyone is different and it doesn’t pay to stereotype people.

Comment by PatB

Cheers! Love what you have to say, love your blog & fabulous wedding picture – congratulations on your recent marriage, and all the blessings for a long, happy & healthy life together. 🙂

I’m adding you to my blog roll – keep up the great posts!

Jaime @ “It’s A Jaime Thing”

Comment by Jaime

Oh believe me, the wedding photography business is riddled with right-wing freaks…you haven’t seen your last discussion about “would you should a gay wedding?” Those people always seem to get pounded though… 🙂
Congrats on the wedding!

Comment by The Unbride

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