Two Brides

Comittment, true devotion
December 11, 2007, 4:05 pm
Filed under: lesbian/gay | Tags: , , , ,

As you may have guessed, I have been getting a little push from my family to start really nailing down vendors and picking places so I can actually start to commit to things.

  • We have decided to have a day of coordinator. Why? Because I want to take the stress off Natalie’s mother, Kate and because I have 23445687789 decoration plans that will somehow need to be put together and implemented the day of. Also, with two brides, things are a little less structured in terms of tradition, so I wanted someone there who knows the full plan and can direct everyone there. And having a DOC is not cheap. So I have been looking into who is good and who is reasonable. But time is ticking and I was warned that DOC’s might not be available if I wait a month or two longer. So in the last 3 days I have emailed like crazy a bunch of DOCs to get a good idea of what their like.
  • Ketubah: This has become a big big problem.  There are not many ketubah artists that do same sex ketubahs. In fact, there are a handful. And the ones we have found…well their wording is not what we want at all. I don’t want to talk about how chummy we are as friends, thankyouverymuch, but would like to talk about our life long commitment. I feel their wording is like a best friends forever statement and frankly, if I wanted a friend, I wouldn’t be a freakin lesbian! It’s a giant pain in my ass and has caused so many problems in my life(maybe I’ll write about almost becoming a mormon one day due to my fear of being a lesbian). So a custom ketubah is what we probably need to buck up and do but- the price. Our budget said $500 was he max. Emailing these artists, well, our quotes have been $1000 and up. I really understand the price as an artist myself, the amount of time, etc…but I frankly can’t afford it. So do I go with the cheesy ketubah that even my Rabbi doesn’t like(we talked to him about it) or somehow spend less money on something else?15331590_757b38ed73.jpgvia flickr

Any same-sex couples have a ketubah artist they love? Worship? Can afford?


6 Comments so far
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I just found your blog while researching a post I’m writing … anyhoo, I figured I’d let you know that the woman I’m writing about does ketubah designs for same-sex couples:

Comment by Ariel

[…] I especially appreciate that the artist, Jennifer Kraft, notes that prices are negotiable depending on the couple’s budget. She also does ketubah designs for same-sex couples, which I only recently realized is sorta rare. […]

Pingback by Offbeat Bride | Not your bubbie’s ketubah!

I just stumbled onto this site from the above trackback, and I don’t even know if you’ll see comments on this month-old post (and it occurs to me you might actually have found something by now), but I wanted to give you a few tips that might help with the ketubah thing. While my recent wedding happened to be of the hetero variety, we did want some specific things for the wording of our ketubah for other reasons, and so spent a lot of time looking at wording options. A wonderful, beautiful, perfectly worded (for the couple) ketubah can be such a joy, I’d hate to see you settle for something you don’t actually like. Hopefully some info that I have can help a bit. (Please forgive the novel I’m about to write!)

First of all? unless you are talking about a whole custom design and not just custom text, the $1000 you’re being quoted is ridiculous. If you can find a design you like, many artists (obviously have to find one who’s not an ideological prick, but I hold out hope . . .) will do custom wording for something like an additional $200-300, and with many ketubot in that same range, I would think you could still get in around $500.

Here is a page that has a listing of different wordings available from different artists that might be helpful if any of these are new to you:

This is from a Jewish bookstore in Massachusetts, and actually, I would think that in general, talking to artists who work in MA might be a good idea (given the whole legal marriage thing) as I’m sure many of them would be happy to ship to you.

For ours, we wound up going with Amy Fagin and I would highly recommend her. Obviously you would have to like her artistic style, but she does have a “commitment vows” text (which is actually quite similar to her modern hetero wording) and will do custom text for $250 (and with her ketubot themselves around $250, that should work out for the $500). One thing we loved about her was that she was totally willing to do some small wording changes we wanted (to make it a bit more progressive and egalitarian), based off her standard wording, and just charge us a smallish fee (I think it was in the $50-$100 range) to make those changes, so that should totally be an option if you like her stuff and almost, but not quite, like one of her text options.

I hope something here might be helpful to you. I’m sorry for going on and on!!!! (but if you want me to go on and on more, i.e. want more info about anything I mentioned, feel free to email me 🙂

good luck!

Comment by aquaflame16

If you are still looking for a ketubah, let me suggest my own designs. My ketubah are based on my own fine art photography of flowers and leaves. I offer several texts for same-sex marriages, which are identical to my other text, just avoid the use of gender-specific terms.

Comment by Modern Ketubah

if you haven’t found a DOC yet, let me know. I have a good friend in the DC area who is awesome.

Comment by Liene at Blue Orchid Designs

Twobrides – I don’t know if you have a ketubah yet at least a month after you posted, but do check out Most of the ketubot designs are priced way under what you were quoted, and the texts can be either what you see as options on the site, or the new lesbian text that’s almost finished as of right now. Also, the artist Dorit Jordan Dotan, who lives in Haifa, Israel, would be happy to incorporate anything you and your partner would like to add or change. Please let my know if there’s anything we can do to lessen your panic!! Many blessings, Batya

Comment by Batya Salzman Levy

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